Neuro Note 3: The Fundamentals of Caring

"Caregiving is not just about feeding, clothing, and cleaning. It is also about understanding how to navigate a complicated relationship between those who give care and those who are in need of it."

This is the first line of the movie The Fundamentals of Caring. The movie is based on the book "The Revised Fundamentals of Caring" by Jonathan Evison and can be watched on Netflix.
I chose to watch this movie because I had heard great things about it, and I was curious about the title.

The movie is about a teenage boy, Trevor, who has muscular dystrophy and his caregiver, Ben. I highly recommend this movie, so I am not going to give away the plot line. However, some key things stood out to me in the movie. Trevor and Ben get along really well which is great for the two of them. However, at one point they get into a fight and Trevor's mom finds out. Trevor's mom pulls Ben aside and explains that she's so glad they they get along well, but she can't have her son getting attached to him because he won't be around forever. She reminds Ben of the caregiver motto of "nothing less nothing more," meaning he is there to help Trevor with his basic needs and does not need to get emotionally intertwined.

There are some very touching scenes in which Ben helps trevor with his activities of daily living (he needs maximum assistance) such as dressing, brushing his hair, and putting on his shoes and socks. Ben asks Trevor what is one thing that he has always wanted to be able to and Trevor answers "peeing standing up." This becomes a funny thread throughout the movie with various scenes of Ben doing his best to help Trevor accomplish this pee.

At the end of the movie, Ben is in a conversation with another character and he explains that Trevor has muscular dystrophy and will be lucky if he makes it to 30. The other man responds saying, "Well that's a real Class A b**** isn't it?" and Ben answers "not always."

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie because it conveyed an honest and realistic caregiver relationship, with a humorous spin. As a caregiver, you spend a lot of time with the individual you are caring for and of course it is a positive thing to become close to them and learn about them. However, it is important for everyone involved that there are boundaries put in place so that the relationship is healthy and beneficial for everyone.

Photo retrieved from: https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-fundamentals-of-caring-2016